I am starting a new blog series, that I hope will give you fuel toward your creative dreams and expressing all that you are. These blogs will have a painting from my art collection Dreammaker, Heartbreaker and stories from that may be pertinent for sensitive and strong dreamers. If you feel so inspired, you will also find information on how to buy the original painting or a print. These texts will be published every other Thursday.
My Dream Has Come True, Now The Big Easy Begins, right?
The creative dream can sometimes be so very heavy. It can be almost scarier to get a chance to do it, than to keep yearning, doing a tidbit here, a little bit there. Doubts arise, fears start hissing in your ears.
“Is this really what I want?”
“What if I give it my all and fail?”
“What if I’m not talented?”
What if nobody cares about what I do but me?”
Building a Dream Studio
I painted this painting in 2015. I was loosing my lines. Form could not contain the colors that my art wanted to make visible anymore. I had received a Big Donut (this is what Amanda Palmer calls unexpected windfalls that support your dreams) and I had rented a basement studio. It was dank. Dirty. Had no daylight. And it was Mine.
For weeks, I dragged my paintings from different nooks and crannies to my basement space. They were in cupboards, under beds, behind clothing, in the Engineers office, at my Dad’s. The first time I had all my creative orphans gathered I burst into tears. So much time spent hiding from my everyday life, painting almost in secret.
Despite this I found myself sitting in our living room, fourteen stories above my waiting studio, days at a time, watching every tv-series I could find, hiding away from artmaking. This simply made no sense. All these years, fighting and struggling to free my creative voice, and now that there was every chance to make something happen, I was hiding away.
The Engineer, my husband, finally got tired of my skulking around. He took my hand, walked me with baby steps to the elevator and baby steps to the studio door. He waited outside for me to close the door, before he left. Those first hungry, insecure, wild eyed weeks, he used to bring me mashed potatoes with chilli to the studio, so I had no excuse to get out.
The Perspective of Time
Almost three years later, these times are merely a short bump in the road, instead of an insurmountable block. It is however good to remember, that it’s not just making dreams come true that needs support. We need a whole lot of self-care, gentleness and compassion, living our dreams. And sometimes even more than when we were struggling to make them come true, because living our dreams is supposed to be a happy occasion.
But when dreams become everyday life, everything changes. You start exploring what your dream looks like, from the inside – and that’s where the rubber hits the road. More about that next week.
I have so much compassion for the beginning artist I was then. And if you know this story, in your heart, I have so much compassion for you. We all need a gentle nudge sometimes. If you’re at a place in your creative dreams, where you need a nudge, consider joining me for an Open Art Studio day at my studio in Helsinki. Send me an e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org , if you’re interested in that. If the heart of this painting speaks to yours, it is available here, or you can order prints from here.
To buy a work of art is an intimate project. The artwork will enter your home or workspace, and it is essential that the painting meets you on a heartlevel. If you are looking for art that speaks to you and feel called, we can set up a meeting by Skype, or at my studio in Helsinki, Finland. The essence of the encounter is to explore what kind of art would serve you the best right now. Our meeting is completely complimentary and is an inspiring event in itself, designed to support your creative dreams. Let’s set it up by e-mail at: email@example.com